Do you know where your heart is

Jeannette's belated seventeenth party turned out pretty well.

A few days ago I was having the toughest time planning it. I usually cannot plan parties or dinners for nuts and hate planning them because I delve too much into details and, being a bit of a perfectionist (for everything other than my grades), I tend to get so stressed out I become all moody and annoyed and frustrated. But this time everything seemed to turn out well eventually even though I was still freaking out bigtime in the morning and there were a few hiccups in the plan. She seemed to enjoy herself alot - anything for you ♥

After debate in the morning on Saturday I picked her up from her doorstep, she was wearing this tube dress she'd bought on one of our shopping trips together. Pretty. Met Cleon at Serangoon MRT, blindfolded her with my scarf from Bishan all the way to Raffles Place where we walked her around while we tried to find the place. It was pretty epic, everywhere we went people were staring and giving us funny looks and conspiratorial little smiles. She kept screaming everytime we reached an escalator or climbed up steps or had to enter a train carriage, omggg it was such a good laugh.

A Caucasian man walked by with his girlfriend and smiled at us and told her 'Welcome to Johor Bahru' ha ha ha it was so funny. We led her into Timbre @ The Arts House where we met the rest, guided her to the seat beside Leon and had him undo her blindfold and then we surprised her with the cake and shit. It was a true Kodak moment :) Had pizza for dinner there, she got called up on stage after the staff found out it was her birthday. Turns out Kara and I both got her lacy underwear as a joke. I hope you like my pink polka-dotted thong honey. I also got her beauty sets from The Face Shop and The Body Shop plus bunny ears and a cardboard label that she had to wear around for the entire evening, people everywhere smiled at her and wished her happy birthday and asked for her name. It was such a novel experience teehee

Afterwards we walked to Eski Bar - some adorable little place modelled after the concept of ice tucked away from the rest of the vibrancy of Clarke Quay in a more discreet corner. Most of them left but a group of us stayed for the after party of sorts. Cut the cake and started playing games which got a little personal after awhile... Some things seem so shocking coming from other people even though you know you have no right to judge them. I'm a big fat hypocrite. Wanted to get a bit wasted but the drinks didn't have any effect at all even after I tried downing the alcohol in one shot. Cabbed home with Jea and Annabelle, stayed over at Jeannette's place looking through photos and recapping the night and giggling and texting / calling and taking pictures. I think she had a good time and enjoyed herself so I'm happy

Sunday I went over to Alison's place after church and we hung around and chilled and talked for a little while and then we went to Parkway to look for her new wallet. Second lunch at Pastamania where she stole all my food (as always heehee) but I always take advantage of the food and beverages at her house too so it's all good... We seem to share everything. Took a bath at her place after we got back, I love how I feel so comfortable all the time there. I've probably said this before but it's practically like my second home. And I love how she's one of the only people I can hang out with without doing much at all, like we can just lie around in her bed and make sporadic silly comments and hug and make friendly jabs at each other and chat about boys and life and friends and I'd go home satisfied. Love.

Yesterday I met Cleon at Cine out of spontaneity and we watched Coraline, one of the shows I've wanted to watch for a long time but never rly got the chance to. Coraline was good. I haven't read the book but I liked the film alot even though it didn't match up to my expectations. It was good shit. Dinner at Shaw and then we walked around drinking Starbucks and just talking, went to Borders to hide in the kids section to talk etc.

Holidays thus far have been pretty tame, but surprisingly I'm cool with it. Life has been alright. Counting down the days till three weeks' time when I'll be in California. That would be like... the ultimate getaway. Sights. Scenery. Shopping

Sex. I cannot wait.

Rest of photos on Facebook

Let's see who does it better

Don't Speak - No Doubt /

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together, always
I really feel, that I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe, this could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real, well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons

Once a best friend, once a lover. I don't know what you are now :)

-

I have been busy.

Not in a good busy sort of way, but in an exhausted busy sort of way. I've been running here and there and being too tired to blog about anything, which in a way is something I should be thankful for I suppose because at least I can feel occupied.

This week has passed like a whirlwind.

Pastamania @ J8 with Cleon last Tuesday, casual spontaneous dinners out are fast becoming our regular fix. Wednesday I met Alex at school after his training and we cabbed to Far East where we met Eric, grabbed a quick bite and then headed to RGS to catch Steff's drama a(parallel). I swear that girl can act - she made such a sexy boy and it was so awesome I loved the performance  Good to see her again after awhile! It's been four months. Chilled with Eric afters at Starbucks for a little while before my dad came to pick me up.

The next day was a crazy day school-wise, I had never felt so worn out in a long time. After countless failed attempts to print out my PW group's WR using the school computers and buying a photocopy / printing card worth about $35, I skipped Chinese and went with Kenneth and Wenyang to Buona Vista to try to get it printed. But wtf the shop owners said there was a problem with the thumbdrive... so back to school we went. After school I returned to the shop with Zoe and Geejing with a different thumbdrive and there we spent three hours figuring out which format to print it in so that the graphs would show up right and then editing and re-editing and printing and re-printing. And then when we returned to school we had a Oral Presentation dry run and shit, I don't know why I was so tired that day but by the time I returned home I was totally out of it

Friday after school I checked this restaurant at Vivo out with Kenneth and then while he went home to bathe I went back to school to meet Wenyang and Jea. Was supposed to catch The Devil's Backbone in some school movie screening event with WY but he got the timings wrongggg ugh so we watched Get Smart instead ha ha. I guess it was still pretty funny even after having watched it a couple of times before. Then we nearly died trying to hail a cab to get to Tong's birthday dinner, was on the verge of hitchhiking a ride from some random driver but then it started to rain so we ran back into school and miraculously found a cab within seconds (nice shit...) Steamboat in the evening @ Beach Road, happy birthday Marcus! Blossom and Pris and I hung out at Iluma for a little while after that and then we went home

On Saturday I didn't do anything much at all. Was supposed to go out either trick-or-treating or having a horror movie marathon but guess what Jea and I were too lazy and tired to plan... so we decided to move our plans to next year teehee. Slept in the whole day after debate, only woke up at midnight or so to multiple texts wishing me Happy Halloween. Yeah I had a lonely Halloween, I'm such a loser. Started regretting it a little only after my nap. But on Sunday I bought this gorgeous red coat from Zara so I guess maybe that makes up for it!

Yesterday was Chinese A's which I totally screwed, upside down inside out. It was one of the worst Chinese papers I've ever sat for. I swear my essay was complete bullshit and the compre was just... ugh. Let's not talk about it. After the paper I went to Marina Square with Jea, Leon, Kara, Annabelle and Jia Lei to catch The Blue Mansion. Had the heaviest lunch ever, I just couldn't stop eating - I am a self-confessed glutton. We couldn't decide what to do for the longest time because I badly wanted to watch Coraline while most of the rest wanted to watch the Blue Mansion. We alternated between Suntec and Marina repeatedly trying to decide if we should go for more food or karaoke or a movie. In the end I got coerced into watching The Blue Mansion. It wasn't as bad as I expected I guess, but not fantastic either. I was pleasantly surprised by Adrian Pang's acting though! But the ending was not only quite absurdly gory and strange but also quite retarded.

Today I went to NJ to meet Cleon. Thereafter we went down to Dhoby and caught Jennifer's Body - which I thought was a damn sad show. The whole kill-your-best-friend thing just felt so sad. Everyone keeps going on about how sucky and plot-less it is, which is true, but at least it was interesting and it didn't send me to sleep. Amanda Seyfried was quite awesome and even though the story honestly was like, not a story, I thought the art direction was okay. The whole show felt like some music video though. Dinner after that at Pastamania (againnn, but I just watched him eat cause I was full from all the salty popcorn) and then he sent me to Serangoon and we sat at a bench somewhere and talked for awhile :)

So that's how my week went. Somehow I manage to feel both beat and unproductive.

Going to get my hair done on Friday, that's some comfort. I hope things will only get better! See you kidssss

You'll just come back running

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Tomorrow will be a better day.

FUCK. I cannot do this.

I don't know why you're being so difficult and I don't know why everyone else can't see it (or won't admit it).

Please grow up and learn that there are other people on this planet.

Slow dancing in a burning room

Burn bitch.

-

I am so tired right now... I thought life after Promos would be amazing and all that but shit I cannot enjoy myself when there's still PW and Chinese A's and school is eating the life out of me. My form teacher reprimanded me in front of the entire class the other day for my 'atrocious pre-promos attendance' and told me that I would reap what I sow. Her exact words. I feel all the more inclined to give school a miss. To be honest if I hadn't skipped all those days of school I probably would have flunked every subject because I spent the extra time studying. I will have to drag my reluctant ass to school tomorrow, srsly I'm cringing at the very thought the only thing keeping me going is the thought that in ten days the holidays will begin and I will have a new hair look and I will start to have actual fun.

OP run-through and chairing the Meth Cup Debates yesterday, today my PW group mates came over and we had yet another unproductive PW meeting, so so so so so exhausted. Wish school didn't exist. Wish A's were over. Am so overwhelmed by the thought of having Chem lessons almost everyday for the coming week now, fucking depressed. I need some damn air.

-

To take my mind off things I shall list my ten favourite Hollywood actresses (not actors because boys can be boring teehee. No order of preference, and no Megan Fox)

Making lists is a pretty retarded thing to do but since I have nothing better to do right now I don't care all that much.

1. Scarlett Johansson

I love this woman. She's intelligent, sensuous and so extremely sexy I have the biggest girl crush on her. I am hell envious of her deep and rly husky voice and dayumm she has a figure to die for. She's done some amazing movies and I can vividly remember her role in every single one of them. Especially The Island. And she can sing. She's also unafraid to admit she might want to undergo plastic surgery in future. Her frankness is way hot, am in love.

2. Natalie Portman

I used to dislike her alot when she was in all those Star Wars movies because as Queen Amidala / Padme I never thought she could act. The acting there was wooden and contrived and the cringe-worthy cheesy lines made her look retarded. But somewhere along the road I began liking her performances more and I guess what fuelled my interest and respect for her the most rapidly was when she shaved her head for V For Vendetta. You need guts to do that, and even without all that hair she looked fucking beautiful. I also then found out that she'd studied at Harvard. So here's a woman with looks and attitude and brains, shit it rly is the complete package.

And Wen Yang showed me this today:

-okay Youtube enabling disabled wtf but watch it here it is the best. ever.-

Omg, what's not to love about her seriously (hahahahahaha the rap in the video is a joke, she's being a huge sport I am blown away).

3. Zooey Deschanel

I love how quirky she is. She's unconventional and kooky and rly strange but at the same time so fresh and captivating. She just has this amazing aura about her that makes you want to get to know her as a person instead of just an actress. Plus she has these enthralling big light blue eyes you cannot look away from and she's in an indie band that makes beautiful music and she stole my heart in Yes Man (I liked her too in 500 Days of Summer, but not so much). I like her funny laugh and how she's so intriguing and different and how she doesn't seem to fit in with all the other Hollywood actresses.

4. Cate Blanchett

I just think she's very ethereal and classy. She has this air of superiority that makes her seem almost superhuman? She's beautiful in a very understated way and so... fairy-like. I don't know how to say it but honestly she's got this elegance no one else does.

5. Ellen Page

I loved her in Juno and she seems so independent. She's brilliant.

6. Rachel McAdams

I had the best time watching her in Mean Girls, she made it the only chick flick I actually rly like to this date. I could watch it over and over again and still laugh every time because she plays the bitchy role so effortlessly and hilariously. Then she was convincing in The Hot Chick as some girl who lost her body to an ugly and middle aged man and goes on a desperate hunt for it, and also in The Notebook where the role required a totally different kind of acting. She's just so breezy and natural in all her movies and she looks so genuine, I love love love love love her.

7. Meryl Streep

I think her age rly works to her advantage and she's so witty, her eyes are FIERCE I love how she conveys so much just through her expressions. I think she could be a movie star without a script. She's downright inspiring and her performances are always pretty awesome.

8. Kate Winslet

Srsly admire this woman's confident acceptance of her sexuality and body, she is so damn self-assured and even though she may not have the best figure and I don't think she's pretty she's unabashed about it and she has no qualms about displaying it for artistic purposes. It's like she's so at ease with herself and unafraid of what people think or say, I love it.

9. Olga Kurylenko

Nothing much to say about her but damn look at her, she's smoking hot (!!!)

10. Sophia Bush

I've only seen her in One Tree Hill and John Tucker Must Die (which was quite a substandard excuse for a chick flick) but there's something fantastic about her that makes you feel somehow happy. I don't know why but watching her act is always refreshing, there's just this inexplicable energy about her that never seems to go away even when there's a sad scene. It's always lingering there and it just makes her seem so vivacious and exciting to watch. She is fearless.

-

Bye kids!

Run away where they can't find you

VERDICT: PROMOTED.

Thank you God. I was calm and composed and secure the first half of the day but when we walked into the classroom to collect our results and I started receiving the flood of marked exam scripts, I think I had a moment of intense doubt and I think it showed. For a minute there, I was really afraid of getting retained or advancing. But amazingly enough the only thing I failed was Chem - which was an expected failure of course. I'm generally contented with my results even though they're not fantastic and the U for Chem means I have to kiss my H3 Lit goodbye. If I'd only gotten a C for Chem I would've been able to take it because all you need is a minimum C for all subjects... but I guess maybe it's not meant to be. Happy with my Lit results, apparently only one person in the level got an A and I'm two marks away from an A so I'm pretty satisfied.

Oktoberfest @ Serangoon Country Club in the evening with my family, I never knew how strange some German food tastes.

We're so close / to reaching that famous happy ending / almost believing this one's not pretend / Let's go on dreaming, for we know we are / so close, so close / and still so far